It’s war again! Bombings, death tolls, environmental damage, PTSD, world leaders posturing, and the news media is all over it.
But why?
After so much war, decade after decade, century after century, millennium after millennium, and the graphic and undeniable outcomes that never fails to engender sadness and grief within our collective consciousness — why do we still go to war?
And yet it’s here again. Right up in our faces to look at, to contemplate and respond to. Do we feel emboldened or powerless, justified or shocked, purposeful or outraged?
Could it be that this ugly aspect of humanity that continues seemingly unfettered for all our recorded history offers an important clue to our existence? Could it be that there is a deeper truth to be revealed through the sheer scale of destruction and suffering wrought by our unconscious desire to charge headlong into war time and time again?
Why Soldiers Fight?
So many times, soldiers are asked why they go to war, and the answer rarely has anything to do with politics. I asked a friend recently who fought in Iraq, and the answer was the same as I’ve read numerous times — “It was about the guy next to me.” It’s the intimate connections men build with each other when their lives depend on one another. Race no longer matters. Socioeconomic status doesn’t matter. Religion, ethnicity, whether we like country or R&B — none of it matters in war. The only thing that matters is being able to count on the guy next to us.
Having done a lot of men’s work I’ve learned that it’s important for men to find intimacy with other men. I’ve found it important for me personally. It’s not a sexual thing. Intimacy is often conflated with sex, but that’s not what it is. People have intimate connections with their pets, their parents, siblings, and children, even co-workers and bosses. Intimacy means closeness. And men need it with men just as much as they need it with women.
Yet because of a distorted cultural system that judges men who seem a little too close with other men as being “gay,” men avoid the appearance of closeness with men. Further still, it’s not considered “manly” for a man to be emotional, so men learn to shut down their emotions, even though men are just as emotional as women. But in war, if a man cries he isn’t ridiculed and shunned, because those who rely on him want to help him so he can keep doing his job. And what’s more, the others likely feel the same fear and grief — they can relate and even empathize. Not something men are typically known for. But in war it’s different.
Of course, they don’t want to go to war. They are often noted for saying that when they are in war, they dream of being home. But when they get home, many pine for being back on the battlefield, because they are missing that intimacy with the men.
There is something else they miss as well. But we’ll get to that in a minute.
Why Do Leaders Start Wars?
There are many reasons, but the two most common are money and power. And there is another reason, or rather a condition, that exacerbates the quest for more money and power, which is mental health.
Many world leaders have been diagnosed with mental health issues, even some we consider admirable like JFK, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi. Winston Churchill was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and there is a whole branch of science called “the psychopathography of Hitler,” in which mental health professionals study his life and try and assign diagnoses. More recently, there are many mental health professions that consider Trump to be a textbook case of narcissistic personality disorder, which seems like a no-brainer for someone who appears pathologically incapable of accepting accountability for anything.
And what about Putin? We know very little about him. He’s opaque and a little mysterious, but clearly an autocrat. So, can we blame the Ukrainian quagmire merely on Putin? What if all his generals were against the war and refused to order an offensive? Or what if all the soldiers and pilots refused to take up arms against their Ukrainian neighbors? Or what if the Russian intelligence community presented a compelling case against invasion?
Autocrats have only as much power as their people give them. If a small number of people stand up to their power, it is easy enough for a leader to snuff them out. But if a critical mass rise up, power crumbles. If 1.3 billion Chinese people rose up in opposition to Xi Jinping, or 25 million North Koreans in opposition to Kim Jong-unl, the world would change.
Why We Go to War
The point is, why do we go to war? Is there a simple answer? I believe there is, and it has to do with why we’re here. Victor Frankel said it best when he wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any how.”
We bear war because it gives us a really big “why.” The why of democracy, nationalism, protection and safety, honor and valor, conquest and victory. Pick whichever one you like. Latch onto it. Make it your identity and it will power your forward momentum like nobody’s business. And if you’re one of those guys (and even gals now that women are allowed in combat) you’ll be able to charge into battle with a feeling of meaning more powerful than anything else our culture has to offer.
Even more visceral than getting married and having children. More emotionally sustaining than career or academic accomplishment. It’s better than sex. Better than blasting off in a billionaire’s rocket into orbit, or base jumping from the Empire State Building. Need I go on?
When thousands upon thousands of fellow countrymen are trained, fit, suited up, equipped, pumped up, and aligned around a singular purpose there is no heroin rush that will top it.
Why else would we risk life and limb, charge through utter destruction, witnessing our comrades blown to pieces in front of our eyes, knowing that if we are lucky enough to return home unscathed that the emotional wounds we suffer will be life-long and potentially debilitating?
It’s about the guy next to me . . .
Or at least that’s what they say. But more deeply (and there is a more deeply) it’s about purpose. It’s about taking the most horrendously extreme measures to fulfill a purpose. To believe that our lives are about something bigger than ourselves.
Innovative corporate leaders have come to understand that if they can inculcate their organizations with deeper purpose their employees will work for the collective good — they will be more engaged and even evangelistic in their pursuit of the company’s success. As Simon Sinek said, “Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.”
It’s not about complicated politics. It’s not about socialism versus capitalism, or authoritarianism versus democracy. Those are just the cover stories. It’s really about banding together, connecting deeply, and risking one’s life for a feeling of deep purpose.
Once we — as a collective called humanity — have arisen our consciousness to a point where a critical mass no longer requires war to feel a deep visceral connection with purpose; once we are able to find that same kind of feeling of intimacy and purpose in our daily lives, we will lose our desire for war. There will be no Putin, Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini or Alexander the Great who will be able to coax, manipulate or otherwise force us into battle. We simply won’t go. We may hold our guns, but the safety will remain in the on position — most likely our magazines will be empty. We will see those across the battlefield, whether it be an actual battlefield or blips on a screen, and we will feel empathy and love for our fellow human being.
And war will cease.
It’s Happening
Consciousness is changing. When we learn of the nature of consciousness, we understand that it is always changing. Consciousness raising individuals have noted for more than 30 years that they feel that consciousness is elevating on the planet — ever since the harmonic convergence in August of 1987, I have felt it. I’ve been affected by it and have sought to support its elevation with my ongoing spiritual practice. It's reflected in a lessening of our collective will for war.
As I write these words there are those in Russia risking their safety to protest the war. Many Russian people, even those who have supported Putin, are expressing shock by his actions. They may not be successful in turning the tide of their country’s actions, but their voices are being heard and it’s having an effect.
The answer my friend is to do our personal work, to raise our consciousness individually and collectively, to be present in our daily lives — perceiving and feeling the purpose and beauty in simple things. By doing so we deepen our feeling of purpose in life, we deepen our relationships, our intimacy with people far and wide. These things have a very real effect. It lessens our need for war.
It deepens our connection to all of humanity.
This is it. Right on point. Thank you so much and helps bring perspective to the horror of war. Thank you again!
Wonderful! Spot on! Is there a way for this post to reach the Russian people, at least a few so this awareness can spread?